A Friendly Reminder As We Head into PRIDE Month

There is nothing shameful about putting yourself and your needs first. Family is important but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice YOUR life.

I recently shared a bit of my own personal journey in family therapy and about my estrangement from my parents in a video for Huff Post. I talked about our clash of values—them being super Christian and me, not—and how I didn’t really know what to do but run away from them and avoid dealing with the growing chasm between us. 

Watch part two, three, and four.

It’s a pretty typical immigrant story, where even as an adult, I still couldn’t stop feeling like I owed them my life because of everything they sacrificed for me. But when I thought about it further and came to terms with how conditional their love has been (in that I have to go to church), it made me realize that their sacrifices weren’t for me at all, they made them for themselves and for their dream of living God’s purpose. 

This made me reframe all the shame that I had been harboring—that I was a bad daughter and bad person for not being able to obey my parents and just give them what they want. Some might call me stubborn, but I like to believe that I’m just a fighter and I won’t ever stop fighting for my values and my freedom.

I share this as we head into Pride month and many folks might still be struggling with showing up authentically due to a clash of values between themselves and their families. I hope you know that you deserve to live a life of your own too and there’s absolutely no shame in that. 🌈